When Bike Meets Car

…In the not so friendliest of ways!

The day started innocent enough. Just an 1.5 hour easy ride followed by 30 minutes of strength training.  That was the plan for the day.  I got up like I always do, getting my bike ready, filling my water bottle, and making sure my Garmin was started.

Things were going well.  My HR was staying around 130-right on target for an easy ride.  I had gone about 10 miles (about 1 loop around our neighborhood-the loop that I do multiple times a week for the past 3 years).  My mind drifting the way it does while on the bike.  Thinking about the wind and trying to guess how strong it is.  Playing my “event that year game” I made up in which I try to think of something that happened the “year” my watch beeps on for a 5 mile lap time (for example, if my 5 mile lap beeps at 17 minutes 36 seconds, I try to think of an event or something  that was happening in 1736.  In this year, Prince Klaas was convicted of organizing a slave conspiracy in Antigua (an Island) and was crucified by "breaking on the wheel," a horrific way to die. I love history haha, and this is how I (try to) keep my sanity on the bike.  Now you know…and now I’ve digressed. 

Anyway…I started to approach an intersection like the letter T (one road was a dead end into the intersection).  I was crossing the intersection and all of the sudden I saw a large figure in my peripheral vision.  

In a split second, I realized a car (driving on the road that was about to dead end at the intersection) was entering the intersection and about to turn as I was already crossing and riding by.  I was about to get T-boned, and my reaction did whatever it could to prevent the worst case scenario. The scariest moment is the moment when I knew that WE were going to be hit! (When you spend hours and hours on the bike, you become "WE" very quickly.  We got a flat.  We did not enjoy the wind today.. ha!)

All I know is that I tried to break and turn my bike left (not that there was anywhere to go) and the front wheel did start to go that direction-saving my baby from the main impact and putting my shoulder on the line for her like a good mama would (true tri bike love right there)!  But there was not enough time in that split second and soon I was feeling my right side SLAM against the SUV (it was like a diagonal hit >< if this makes sense).

Side note: I've looked at the garmin file and it is pretty obvious when the crash occurred.  Speed goes from 17.8 to 1.1 mph in 2 seconds and the HR spikes.  It it weird that I get a kick out of this?! Ha!

After the initial blow, I was just in shock.  The driver got out.  “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh my gosh, are you ok, this is my fault, I’m so sorry, what do you need, this is my fault, I didn't see you, I’m sorry, do you want water, oh my gosh, I don't know why I didn't see you, I'm so sorry, what do you need me to do, do you want to go here,  I’m so sorry.”

As you can imagine, my head wasn’t really “all there” at this moment.  I mean, SO MUCH is going through your head. And I have NO CLUE what you’re supposed to do in these situations.  Fortunately, the initial panic became “let’s go to the side and call the police.” (To be completely honest, I've fallen before and just got back on and rode through the pain, so I literally had a moment where I thought, "eh, I'll just pop her on the trainer after I get this police stuff done and finish my ride then. So my mind was definitely not functioning right. I AM CRAZY!!)

The police came and the ambulance came. I sat on the curb trying to give my statement…probably making no sense whatsoever. The paramedics took my vitals. 

And then I saw IT.  The stretcher.

Ohhh noooo, that is SO not happening, I thought.

They asked me what was hurting and how I was feeling.  I told them I’m feeling ok, except for my shoulder.  I wasn’t moving it, but it was throbbing. “Do you want to go to the emergency room?”

“What are my options?” I asked. (I'm NOT a decisive person EVER, so add some shell shock into the equation and I am HOPELESS!)

“Well, we can take you now, or you can go on your own for x-rays and such.  Insurance will be less if you don’t go to ER.”

“I think I’ll go on my own”

“Ok, we’ll drive you and your bike home. Let’s get you in the ambulance.”

I got home and the tears were a-flowin.’ I changed clothes (most painful thing evvvveerrrr!) and tried to get my hair up (also the most painful thing evvveerrrr!!).  The neighbor came over and drove me to get x-rays-which came back with NO BROKEN BONES.  HALLELUJAH!

Waking up Saturday (the day after being hit) was one of the most painful days of my life.  When I keep my right arm still, there is no pain, but some movements will cause sharp pain. Pain meds and ice to the max.  I’m one of those “cry through the pain” people, and crying is how I deal with the pain.  So yes, my eyes were very dry that day-especially since the fact that I WAS HIT BY A CAR actually sank in and the shell shock wore off.  Kind of traumatic to say the least!  AND as much as being hit is painful, it makes you exhausted.  Like I want to SLEEP. all. the. time. and. never. wake. up.

Did you think the story was about to end??!!  Guess what…it’s far from over!

As you probably imagine, the “fun” of filing insurance claims has begun.  AND it’s extra confusing since I was not in a car, but was hit by a car.  Not a typical car crash scenario.

AND did I mention that I am signed up for a Half Ironman 70.3 ONE week from the accident??  Been signed up since March, and they are not the easiest things to back out of…plus my training has been with this race in the focal point.  Now the decision becomes: Should I still race? I talked with my orthopedic and coach and we discussed a few things about it. 

First of all, if there is any chance that I will injure myself more, then I would absolutely NOT race.  I still have a few more months and races in this season, and I cannot sacrifice those goals for a less important race.  So then it becomes a matter of pain and ego.  Will it be too painful to race (specifically swim) and am I ok to race knowing that it won’t be my best?  These are the questions I needed to ask myself.  As much as I always want to do my best and go for a PR, my ego has taken plenty of beatings in the past (thanks to…cough, cough…swimming…cough, cough), so I’m not really all “bent out of shape” because my performance will suffer and my time will mostly likely be much slower. As far for the pain, that is my main concern.  On the one hand, half-ironmans are not easy anyway, and pain is the nature of the beast. BUT I’m concerned that the pain will be too great and I will be in sheer misery-mentally leaving an imprint that will make it hard to race in the future. 

Well, today (Tuesday), I went back to the doctor and explained where the sharp pain has remained (the other collision pain has subsided into just minor-well a minor in comparison-dull ache).  He said that normally he would tell someone to rest and come back in a week, but given my situation he doesn't think I would be in any danger of hurting myself further by racing and it is up to me to decide what I want to do and how much pain I can handle.  A torn labral is the suspect right now, and the doctor said, "if that's the case we are going to have to operate whether or not you race this weekend." (Insert "heart stop" moment here for even the mention of going under the knife). So I got in the pool to see if swimming was even a possibility and was able to swim....slowly...and painfully....like not pleasant at all, but I did it, so it looks like I'll be able to race this weekend (but I am continuing to let my body call the shots and if the morning of the race I am just not up for it, then I will not race-simple as that!). I have a follow-up when I return in a week and a half. 

Lu (short for Lucy if you didn't know) has her doctor appointment today too.  I've already called to see how she's doing.  She misses me too!  Such a good mom ;) 

To be honest, this week has been hard.  REAL HARD.  One of those, "God give me strength to get through each moment" HARD.  These are the times when we realize that our "strength" is so fragile, and it is really God's strength, not our strength, that has carried us through all along.  When things are going great, we begin to build confidence in ourselves, but God humbles us to bring us back to a reliance upon Him.   These next few weeks will continue to challenge me, and I am asking God to walk beside me through this trial and carry the burdens that overwhelm me right now.  No matter what, he is still God and He is still good. I'm just going one step at a time and crossing each bridge if and when I come to it.  Sound familiar?? STORY OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!

Here is a song ("Deeper" by Meredith Andrews) that has been on my heart ALL SEASON so far, and it is SO applicable to what I am going through right now.  Click here to listen to it!  And you SHOULD because it's really good!  

Please pray for continued healing and strength in the coming weeks!