“We
all have scars, inside and out. We have freckles from sun exposure, emotional
trigger points, broken bones, and broken hearts.
However
our scars manifest, we need not feel ashamed but beautiful.
It is beautiful
to have lived, really lived, and to have the marks to prove it.”
~Alexandra
Heather Foss
Another surgery…another scar. To be honest the reality of
another visible scar was one of the hardest thing to process. Yes I am that vain…
Will make-up be enough to cover it? I NEED to speak with some scar-removal plastic surgeon or something...Yes, this was literally the thought that went through my mind. Pain relief and the ability to feel my arm again was a side effect. BUT the SCAR..THAT was the focus.
To be fair, a 5 inch incision along my collarbone is not small or likely to go unnoticed....not to mention the right side of my chest will likely appear more "sunken in"...
Will make-up be enough to cover it? I NEED to speak with some scar-removal plastic surgeon or something...Yes, this was literally the thought that went through my mind. Pain relief and the ability to feel my arm again was a side effect. BUT the SCAR..THAT was the focus.
To be fair, a 5 inch incision along my collarbone is not small or likely to go unnoticed....not to mention the right side of my chest will likely appear more "sunken in"...
And then I went for a run-NO surprise there haha! And I felt the Lord
put something on my heart that gave me peace about the mark that would be left
on my body…
“Kim, you will
look at that scar every day and it will remind you of my LOVE for you. It will
remind you of my FAITHFULNESS in your life.
It will remind you of my STRENGTH that covers your weakness. It will
remind you that I arm you with COURAGE when you want to run.
It will be part of a TESTIMONY that will glorify me.”
It will be part of a TESTIMONY that will glorify me.”
Am I ready to have surgery once again? No, but I’ve learned that surgery is not something you really ever come to terms with…there are risks, there are uncertainties…it is a freakin’ scary thing to let someone operate on you while hoping and praying for the best outcome.
But I remind myself that I have so many around me that LOVE me and
SUPPORT me and will be here to take care of me as I look at another “road to
recovery” that I did not anticipate facing so soon….
But most
importantly I have Christ and He will be with me through this.
One day I will tell my kids about my scars. I will remind them that we are not promised
another day, but we are promised a sovereign creator who rules over all. He is always in control-we never are (even if we pretend we are…guilty *cough,
cough).
But then you will remember and you will celebrate the beautiful mark God
allowed to be placed there. You will praise Him for how much you have grown and
matured through this difficult time. You
will thank Him for all the blessings you DO have instead of the messiness and
painful memories that so often take center stage in your mind.
You will grow
to LOVE that scar and all it represents.
*I ask for your prayers. LOTS of prayers. Prayers for the surgeon and that all will go well with the operation. Pray for a full and speedy recovery.
