Scars

“We all have scars, inside and out. We have freckles from sun exposure, emotional trigger points, broken bones, and broken hearts.

However our scars manifest, we need not feel ashamed but beautiful.

It is beautiful to have lived, really lived, and to have the marks to prove it.”

~Alexandra Heather Foss 

Another surgery…another scar.  To be honest the reality of another visible scar was one of the hardest thing to process. Yes I am that vain…

Will make-up be enough to cover it? I NEED to speak with some scar-removal plastic surgeon or something...Yes, this was literally the thought that went through my mind. Pain relief and the ability to feel my arm again was a side effect. BUT the SCAR..THAT was the focus.

To be fair, a 5 inch incision along my collarbone is not small or likely to go unnoticed....not to mention the right side of my chest will likely appear more "sunken in"...

And then I went for a run-NO surprise there haha! And I felt the Lord put something on my heart that gave me peace about the mark that would be left on my body…

“Kim, you will look at that scar every day and it will remind you of my LOVE for you. It will remind you of my FAITHFULNESS in your life.  It will remind you of my STRENGTH that covers your weakness. It will remind you that I arm you with COURAGE when you want to run.  

It will be part of a TESTIMONY that will glorify me.”

Am I ready to have surgery once again? No, but I’ve learned that surgery is not something you really ever come to terms with…there are risks, there are uncertainties…it is a freakin’ scary thing to let someone operate on you while hoping and praying for the best outcome. 

But I remind myself that I have so many around me that LOVE me and SUPPORT me and will be here to take care of me as I look at another “road to recovery” that I did not anticipate facing so soon….

But most importantly I have Christ and He will be with me through this.

One day I will tell my kids about my scars.  I will remind them that we are not promised another day, but we are promised a sovereign creator who rules over all.  He is always in control-we never are (even if we pretend we are…guilty *cough, cough).

Kim, in a few months you will question your beauty.  You will see ugliness and pain in that scar. You will wonder what others see and if they notice it as much as you do…

But then you will remember and you will celebrate the beautiful mark God allowed to be placed there. You will praise Him for how much you have grown and matured through this difficult time.  You will thank Him for all the blessings you DO have instead of the messiness and painful memories that so often take center stage in your mind.

You will grow to LOVE that scar and all it represents.

*I ask for your prayers. LOTS of prayers.  Prayers for the surgeon and that all will go well with the operation. Pray for a full and speedy recovery.