The 4th Leg of Triathlon

IS…..(drumroll please!)

CEREAL!!!! Haha just kidding! (well, kind of…)

The 4^th leg of triathlon-or athletics in general- is nutrition.  Food becomes more than just a meal, but instead becomes the VERY important FUEL needed to perform and compete. Besides just meals, athletes need to fuel before, during, and after training and racing. Racine 70.3 “buffet tables” stand out in my mind- there are chips, coke, Gatorade, water, GU gels, chomps (chews), bananas, pretzels, and giant COOKIES!  (side note: My shorts look huge when I cross the finish line because I stuff my shorts with lots of GU gels at the last aid station in a race-they are expensive so I’m trying to save money haha! )

 A few days ago I was talking with my tri coach about some possible future races and my H and N (hydration and nutrition) came into discussion. After 5+ years of triathlon (and many more years swimming) I should have my fuel needs  figured out by now…at least I thought I would by this point.  Truth is, it has been a loooonngg journey trying to figure out what works for me with some various health issues thrown in the mix.

It’s hard to look back and recognize struggle and pain knowing that mistakes were made, but I think that it helps you realize how far you’ve come and how faithful God has been.  

Lets backtrack a few years…

In high school I could pretty much eat anything I wanted to before competition.  My mom would bring even bring me frapes (one for my coach too haha!) to badminton matches and I could stomach pancakes before swim meets.  The Good Life!

During my freshman year of college, I still didn’t have issues until the end of spring semester.  Everything went downhill from there.  I started to get frequent stomachaches after eating.  There was no pattern-sometimes I would eat a sanck and end up clutching my stomach immediately on the ground-the next day I would eat the same thing and feel nothing.  Some days I would just have liquids like ensure shakes or soup.  By the end of that year, I started to fear food like I never had before.  I saw it as “pain” before it even entered my body. For triathlons that summer, I only tried using liquid calories during races-like Gatorade-but I wasn’t very consistent about drinking enough.  After seeing a few doctors that had no solutions, I just kept training while still feeling uneasy about food in general.

Sophomore year I started getting chest pain/pressure when I swam.  After visits to the cardiologist with tons of testing, it was heartburn-good, no big deal, I just needed to be cautious about fueling for practice.  I tried to be careful about eating before practice-usually eating very little all day before practice and then trying to make up for the calorie deficit in the evenings (aka “cereal attack”).  If I did eat something and had heartburn that day, I decided that I would never eat it before practice again.  Some days I could not get through practice without a snack...enter the famous “pantry swim locker.”  I was also eating tons of Tums…like candy! I did this “eat at little as possible before training or competing” thing through the next few triathlons and swim seasons-and I would not recommend this. At this point I also started rating workouts by “how much they made me want to throw up.” Post Half-Ironman, I would wait about 4 hours before refueling.  Rough time for sure!

Junior year I continued to struggle, small constant snacks to keep stomach problems small. Eventually getting to the point that a nutrition counselor taught me about making sure that I still had a few balanced meals (with Fat, Carbs, and Protein).  My small snacks rarely combined all 3 for max benefit.  I’m glad I learned about this-and still use it to help me build my snacks and meals each day.  Man can’t live off cereal alone! (SAD, but true...maybe in heaven?!).  During triathlons I would only use gels during actual races-never eating or drinking during training.  That’s right, I would run 15+ miles in 90 degree FL without a DROP of water.  I would bike for hours with only a single water bottle-never stopping to fill it up because that would mean stopping! And YOU thought I was CRAZY before?!

Unfortunately, the pain that began a few years before had never left-in fact, it got worse! As a senior, I had gotten used to this lingering pain-or “stomach attacks” as I call them.  I was nutrient deficient and I found out that I had pseudomonas, which explained a lot of the problem.  I was on a strict diet/supplement plan to completely “destroy and rebuild” my digestive system.  To be frank, it was nasty. I was literally swallowing 30 pills a day with awful tasting powder I drank before meals.  After about 8 months of this, I started feeling better and have not had as many problems since. While I was on this crazy plan, I couldn’t have much sugar at all-1 fruit a day, so getting calories while triathlon training was hard!  Fortunately when training kicked up a notch (June-ish last year) I was able to digest more, and for the first time I was more optimistic about fueling my training right. 

For the first time I would eat a little banana or dried cereal before training and I actually brought a water bottle with me during my 15+ mile runs in FL!  I would set it down in a spot that I would pass a few times and you better believe I ran with all my strength knowing that water was coming! Before I would never have calories during my run of a 70.3 (13.1 miles), but last year I also started trying energy chews.  I liked having 2 or 3, but surprisingly I think that liquid calories agreed with me better 4+ hours into the race.  At one point in my race I remember thinking, “Well, I might get stomach cramps/discomfort if I drink this Gatorade, but it’s better than passing out!”  I am starting to recognize when I need to make the switch to liquid calories, but it’s so inconsistent-much like the race conditions for that specific day.

As you might see, the 4^th leg of a triathlon quite possibly might be the hardest one for me right now.  A lot has factored into the struggle of eating and fueling during training. It’s been a journey and I continue to search for the “what works for me” formula.  Right now it’s:

-PB sandwich and banana pre race breakfast (just PB toast or banana before training session)

-Glutamine powder with nuun electrolyte tablet water with some yogurt and strawberries post training

-GU gels during bike-somedays these work, other days not so much! I’m thinking that I may try other things this year…

-2-3 chews (1 every 4 miles) while running, small and constant sips of Gatorade before thirst even hits

In the end, I don’t want my lack of fuel/nutrition to keep impacting my performances.  This is been the driving force in my motivation to keep trying.  I’m hoping to really “get it down” this year!

Waiting to Fail

I have always been one of those people.  The people that are always expecting the worst to happen.

(We call it preparing for the worst-as if we are just being realistic not pessimistic)

I realized that I developed this way of thinking when I was in high school.  For example, in Biology class (science is NOT one of my strengths…) I would literally hyperventilate waiting to get a test back.  I thought, “ I’m sure I did bad on the test, that means my grade will go down, that means I’ll have to do really well on the final….”  YES, my thoughts went from a single unit test all the way to the end of the semester because I was expecting…err I mean “preparing” to make up for a failure that had not even occurred yet.

The classroom was not the only place where I had learned to expect failure.  The pool was also where I learned to hold low expectations so that I would never be disappointed.  I was scared to set goals, fearing that they might not be attainable.  I tended to hold myself back from going all out, fearing that my best would not be good enough.  The same thing continued in triathlon as I have kept my goals conservative.

When I graduated last year, I half-jokingly told people that I really did not believe that I would make it to this point.  In reality, I truly was convinced that at some point in the process, my professors and cooperating teachers would realize that I was a fraud.  I was faking my abilities all along and was not capable of being a teacher.  That’s right, I was waiting to fail. 

As each semester passed, I “knew” that the next semester would be THE semester (when they will find out).  I also couldn’t believe that they hadn’t figured t out by now.  Even after receiving awards and encouragement, I did not let it comfort me.  I had made my mind up that I was not going to make it. This might be coming as a shock to you-I did not verbally admit this often.

What makes some people adopt this mindset? The mindset that causes us to live in fear and self-doubt.  I thought about this long and hard…probably on one of my seemingly endless training rides when the mind wanders.  I don’t claim to know “the answers."  I'm not a philosopher and these are just some of my thoughts:

On the one hand, I see a lack of confidence.  As a Christian, we need to have confidence in 1) GOD 2) God’s plan and 3) The gifts/talents that God gives us.  I do not need to “believe in myself” more, but need to “believe in God” more.  There’s a difference.  When I am worried about not living up to some standards that I or other humans have created, I fail to see God’s hand and control in my situation.  I love the quote that “God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.”   If God’s plan is for me to be a teacher, then he will equip me with the abilities (that I must put into use) that are necessary to teach. 

On the other hand, I see a problem with pride.  This ties in with a lack of confidence in the right things because pride encourages us to put confidence in ourselves.  In times of success we give ourselves all the credit and all the glory, but with that failure brings all the guilt and all the shame.  We don’t want to be seen as weak and want to accomplish it all ourselves.

AND with both of these I see a problem with definitions of success and failure.  

We tend to measure everything we do as successful or unsuccessful, these are just labels we attach to things depending on if they go the way we think they should go.  I think that a lot of “success” can be found in “failure” as God can use our struggles, falls, and scars to lead us in a different direction or help us learn something.  Personally I know that God has used my failures and weaknesses to strengthen me and force me to find my worth and identity in Christ.

If your identity and worth is found in Christ, than nothing on Earth you do (or don’t do) will affect your confidence.  Nothing will define you-no job, no athletic achievement, etc. and “successes” and “failures” will merely become tools that He uses in your life.

Honestly, I’m tired of fearing things.  I’m tired of fearing disappointments that will shake me. But I CAN CHOOSE.  I can chose to work hard with the gifts God has given me without fearing the outcome or deciding what the outcome should be- Instead I trust that He knows what is in my best interest.

I Knew Something Was Wrong

…Very wrong. 

It was Mid-December and suddenly I was experiencing pain in my right Tibia when I ran.  As an athlete, I’ve experienced my fair share of pain.  It tends to be a side effect of endurance racing. 

Last summer my tri coach had me doing a lot of hill training and even though it was much needed, my left Achilles started rebelling.  It got horribly inflamed and I could feel it stretch and release as I walked/ran.  I kept training and running and racing- BUT I was careful to keep it monitored (with use of ice, heat, compression, etc.).  I’d had tendonitis before, so I just did everything to make sure it did not get worse or else I would be risking a rupture of the tendon.  Hill training stopped temporarily, but I continued to run.  Eventually, in mid September (about 3 weeks before my marathon), my Achilles was completely pain-free. 

Racing through the pain-I could certainly feel it, but it was not too bad. 

Three months later  (Mid-December) I was simply “in maintenance mode.”  No formal training and no goals in place yet.  Just trying to keep up some level of fitness to give me a base for “base-building” for the upcoming 2016 triathlon season (usually a 5-10 mile run-maybe some 3 minute intervals on occasion).  I always say it is much easier to stay in shape than to get completely out of shape and back into shape.  I felt fine, until…

“Why is my right leg bothering me so much” (I thought on the treadmill-only about 3 miles into my run that day)

------

“Oh well, I’m sure it’s nothing.  I’ll just ice it and rest it a few days and hopefully it will feel like brand new.”

After the initial onset of the pain, I continued to run for about a week, but it just got worse.  At the end of the week, I could not keep form and I was limping post-run.  Right then and there I decided to stop.  I did not want to risk injuring myself further. Last run:

My last run in 2015. 

I made myself quit doing anything that bothered my right Tibia.  Believe me-NOT running is MUCH harder than running!  It’s like taking an addict away from their addiction. 

Three weeks later, I went to the orthopedic and he gave me some good and some bad news.   He said that I made the right call by backing off quickly and recognizing when I had an injury that I should not have been pushing through. 

WOOOO HOOOO!  FIIINNNNAAALLLYYY learning to listen to my body!  (I learned this lesson the HARD way a few years ago, but now I’m actually being a SMART athlete!) YAY!!

But, after an X-ray and using the tuning fork, he said that it was the beginning of a stress response-swelling and increased pressure against the bone.  Maybe the first stages of stress fracture, and if not, it would have become one had I continued to “Push through.”  I haven’t been running in almost a month, and now I’m in PT. 

How did this happen?  Well, there are a number of reasons that this could happen.  Training amount/intensity (too much too soon), weak hips (imbalance), etc.  Right now it appears that my right foot is probably over-pronating, so I’ll need to do some exercise that strengthen and correct my form (as well as stretches to keep things from getting too tight/pulling on the bone).  Foam Roller, ice, and ultrasound therapy are my BEST FRIENDS right now!!

As hard as it was to make the decision to stop, I am SO THANKFUL that I did.  Now the challenge is making the decision to be positive and optimistic about healing.  In the past I have grumbled my way through injury, but I ended up being a stronger athlete in the end.  So this time, I’m making a daily choice to look for gratitude in my temporary loss of running:

1. It did not interrupt my 2016 triathlon training, it just delayed the start of it! Nothing wrong with an extra long off-season J Extra time to focus on organizing my room!

2.  I can still bike and swim, so I just do that.  Hey, 2 out of 3 isn’t sooo bad, right?!  My biking needs the most improvement anyway!

3.  My injury could have been MUCH worse.  Only 4-6 wks off is NOT that bad in the big picture. I’m learning about things that I need to work on which will make me a stronger athlete in the long RUN.
4.  I am going to enjoy running SO much more when I get back.  You don't know what you got 'til it's gone!

Today It Hit Me

Today my mind realized that I would not be making my journey back to Asbury for the first January since 2012.  Wow!  When I left school in December, I told others that the realization of graduation had not “hit me” yet-after all, it was not much different from all the other Christmas breaks in the past where I leave in December and return a month later. 

Coming home for the summer after my first year at Asbury!

Today I realized that I had left a part of my life that had become so regular to me.  The people, the community, the rhythm, etc. had all become so familiar that it is hard to imagine a life that is different. 

JAK-I'm so glad I met these girls the FIRST week at Asbury!  I hope our adventures together continue!

Today I found myself missing the life I had been living the past four years, wondering if I will ever have a “close knit community” again.  I’m still a stranger in PBG (FL).  I can use one hand to count the number of people I know by name.  Some days it is hard to always be the stranger, and always be the “new kid.” (side note: I have been introduced to the church group 3 times because some people don’t remember my introduction the week before…always ackward…sigh)

My small group church girls! So much joy and laughter!

Today I reminded myself that change in life is inevitable, and I need to embrace it instead of fear or resist it.  I reminded myself that there are seasons in life and it is ok to look back with fond memories while not neglecting to continue looking forward with hope, joy, and peace.

My first plan trip to FL when my parents moved in March 2013.   I was gripping the seat for dear LIFE as we flew over the OCEAN!  AHHHHH!

Today I asked God to remind me of his faithfulness in the past, but also for comfort in this present time of transition.  I thank him for the gift that Asbury was in my life, believing that he will continue to bring blessings in the future as I follow his calling.